The one that got away. Fuck the Loch Ness Monster, this is a scary case. He goes against the cretinous limbic-obsessed biodeterminists, positing a motivational syndrome based on thwarted creativity. That's an interesting idea, because it doesn't stop at serial murder. Lovecraft was wont to point out, there are things worse than death. Take the infamous "SBR" case, Maryland An elderly couple awoke one morning in their rather ordinary home in the suburbs of Baltimore to find their precious wooden bunny-rabbit lawn ornament missing.
They'd had this tasteless thing on their lawn for nigh unto 20 years, and took great umbrage at its sudden disappearance. They reported the theft to the local police, who took the report with all the gravity it deserved.
What Is A “Petty Jar”?
One year later, to the very day, the couple stepped outside and found the ornament on the hood of their car, along with a large manila envelope filled with photographs. Each photograph was inscribed on its backside with the handwritten letters "SBR" thought by police to stand for "Stolen Bunny Rabbit" , and the pictures themselves documented a world tour of Phileas Fogg proportions, with the precious lawn ornament photographed at the pyramids of Giza, Mt.
Fuji, Niagara Falls, Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, Disney World, the Berlin Wall, in the arms of Baltimore's Mayor Kurt Schmoke, at the UN, dozens and dozens of pictures of this stupid wood-shop project lawn ornament carefully posed at world-famous sites and landmarks or in the presence of celebrity entertainers and politicians. The case was never solved. Mike Dash, a chief researcher at Fortean Times since , has collected a wide range of unexplained anomalies and known hoaxes and posited a disciplined way of addressing these phenomena in his fabulously researched Borderlands.
In these times of crumbling belief systems and cultish nonsense, there has arisen a cottage industry of counterfeit skepticism, exemplified by the likes of Elaine Showalter, Phil Klass, the Amazing Randi and other pseudoscientific posers in the business of defending consensus reality. Consensus reality is itself a hoax, and a pernicious one at that. Fortean Times is the real thing, a journal of strange phenomena with no agenda to promote, addressing hoaxes, mass delusions, urban legends and authentically unexplainable anomalies with equal objectivity.
Dash has collected a stunning range of cases of crashed UFOs, cryptozoological sightings, unlikely things raining from the sky, spontaneous human combustions and other collisions with generally accepted notions of how reality should proceed and attempted to get to the causes of these occurrences in an unprejudiced and genuinely scientific way.
The results are often hilarious and occasionally very unsettling.
The Aurora Case is a classic example. On April 19, , the Dallas Morning News reported that a mysterious airship had crashed in Aurora, TX, replete with a little dead alien pilot. This event became a part of the UFO canon when it was rediscovered by the saucer crowd in the 60s and inspired the comedy group Firesign Theatre to create what is perhaps their greatest work, Everything You Know Is Wrong. Dash dispatches it thus:. The body of its pilot?
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The perpetrator on this occasion appeared to be a local telegraph operator named S. Haydon, who span the yarn to while away the hours on a boring shift and in the hope of attracting visitors to a town dying after being by-passed by the railway. OrangeShamWow Report. ZipaThePro Report. ReecePeyton Report. MMmargolies Report.
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Why My Roommate and I Keep a “Petty Jar”
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